There are a lot of emotions that can develop as a result of dealing with a chronic pain condition. There’s sadness, frustration, anger and loneliness to name a few. Eventually we’ll have a blog on how to deal with all of these emotions, but today, we want to touch on another emotion that sometimes develops in chronic pain patients, and that’s shame.

Before we dive into the nuts and bolts of the blog, let us just say this – you should never be ashamed of yourself because of your chronic pain condition. It’s not uncommon for patients to feel a sense of shame, but know that these feelings don’t reflect accurately on yourself. You don’t have to be ashamed for something you can’t control, so don’t be.

Obviously that’s easier said than done, but in today’s blog, we want to dive into some of the reasons why patients may feel ashamed of their chronic pain condition, and what you can do to help free yourself from these feelings.

Avoiding The Shame Of Chronic Pain

Shame can develop for a number of different reasons for those individuals battling a chronic pain condition. They may be ashamed that they can’t do as much physical activity as others, they may be ashamed about cancelling at the last minute because of a flareup, or they may be ashamed about how others perceive them. We understand those feelings, but know that you should not feel ashamed for those reasons.

In our experience, the only reason you should feel genuine shame over your condition is if you are cheating yourself out of the best treatment outcomes. If you’re skipping physical therapy appointments because you don’t want to put in the work, or you ignore your doctor’s instructions, then we understand why you might feel ashamed. The good news about this type of shame is that it starts and ends with you. You control your commitment to your treatment plan, so all you have to do to rid yourself of these feelings is dive head first into your doctor’s recommendations.

But how can you rid yourself of the other reasons for the feelings of shame? Those reasons you can’t control, like missing a movie night because of a flare up or the fear of being viewed as someone with a low pain tolerance by your friends? To do this, we need to begin by changing our mindset. Instead of focusing on how we think others are thinking of us, we need to turn are attention inwards. Because if you are satisfied with what you are doing to control your pain, you’ll often notice these feelings of shame will disappear.

So how can we self reflect on our handling of chronic pain to reduce these feelings of shame? Again, it goes back to what we said above about controlling what you can control. You need to realize what is out of your control, what you can control, and how to manage the controllable aspects of your life. You can’t control whether or not you’re going to have a good day or a bad day, but you can increase your likelihood of having more good days than bad by doing your therapy exercises, increasing your understanding of your condition, reaching out to your doctor if you have questions or concerns, setting attainable goals and recognizing achievements, no matter how small. These controllable aspects add up, and when you make positive strides in all these areas, you’ll find that you are doing everything you can to regain control of your physical health, and once you’ve achieved that, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

So it doesn’t matter what your mother in law or your coworkers think. If you can say “yes, I’m doing everything I can to take control over my chronic pain condition,” even if it’s not working the way you hoped, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you should be proud. It takes a lot of guts to fight back against a chronic pain condition, so you should be commended, not shamed.

If you’re still finding it difficult to deal with some of the feelings associated with your chronic pain condition, let us help you take back control and develop a care plan that suits your needs. For more information, reach out to Dr. Cohn’s office today.