A recent article in the journal Current Biology found that humans and mice exhibit more pain when with friends with pain than with strangers without pain issues. Those who are with friends with pain will report more severe symptoms than when they are with strangers. Furthermore, people exhibited more pain related behavior in these situations. The researchers hypothesized that when friends had pain, we make a bigger deal about it than when our companions are pain free. As a pain practitioner, it should be a shame on the researchers for jumping to such conclusions.
All pain patients find living with chronic pain is extremely difficult. Pain is mentally fatiguing and depressing. It is a constant battle to control symptoms. Most of the time the battle to control pain is fought alone. People who do not have the problem usually do not want to hear about other people’s medical issues. Others also do not want to be brought down emotionally by the struggles of someone else since they have their own problems.
When one meets another who shares the same problems you have, one may tend to be more honest in the portrayal of your own issues. It is not that you are making your pain sound worse than it is, you just are actually reporting how bad are the symptoms. A person with the same problem is likely to better understand what the other is saying. The communication is more honest and more clear cut. There is also no fear of shame that pain is a significant problem.
Pain Support Groups
The concept of a support group hinges on the fact of a common understanding of a problem. Chronic pain severely affects many people, impacting all aspects of their lives. In normal relationships, one often tries to hide medical problems. We all figure few people understand the problem and we do not need to be shamed by disbelief. Meeting someone who understands the problem of pain and the impact allows the person with pain to be honest about their concerns. To the outsider, this is likely to be seen as embellishment of the pain.
The researchers who wrote this study about pain patients being more open and “feeling worse” when with others who have pain may not be looking at the responses correctly. It is likely that those with pain were just being on honest with how they were feeling when they were with friends who had similar problems. When with strangers, people with pain will often just bite the bullet and act as if everything is okay. No one wants to be known as a complainer. The bottom line in this story is that 40% of the population suffers pain, so maybe we need to show a little more compassion for those with this problem.