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Chronic Pain And Your Social Life

If you have a chronic pain condition, you can probably relate to at least one of the points below. Here are a number of ways chronic pain can affect your social life.

1. Withdrawing From Friends – Either because you’re dealing with a flare up or you’re afraid of a flare up when you’re out with friends, it’s easy to start using your pain condition as a reason to turn down invitations or to meet up with others. Never be afraid to say no, but at the same time, make sure you’re also offering and trying to make plans instead of always being the one cancelling or skipping. If you’re afraid of going to the movies with friends, offer to host a movie night. Find a way to stay close to your inner circle on your own terms if chronic pain sometimes gets in the way.

2. It Distracts You – Sometimes chronic pain is all we can think about, and that can take away from your enjoyment when you’re out with others. This can leave you feeling distant even when you’re out with friends. Really try to engage in the activity or the conversation, as this can help take your mind off your pain, and this speaks to the larger point of really working with a pain specialist to find treatment and coping mechanisms to prevent pain from making you mentally distracted.

3. Your Mood – Being in physical pain can have a significant affect on your mood, and nobody wants to hang out with someone whose always in a bad mood. Talk with your doctor about your cognitive treatment options to prevent physical pain from affecting your mood. And while it may not be easy, try to reflect on your mood and your attitudes when you’re with others to see if you believe your pain is making you a negative person.

4. Isolated – Chronic pain can leave you feeling isolated in a different way than described in point one where you’re not physically able to connect with friends. Chronic pain can leave patients feeling different from everyone else, and that can be extremely isolating. Don’t be afraid to talk with your friends and family about how your chronic pain makes you feel. Odds are they are going to be more accepting and welcoming than imagined, because you’d do the same for them if they opened up to you about their struggles.

By working with a specialist who understands the physical, mental, emotional and social effects of chronic pain, you can help ensure that your condition doesn’t spill over into other aspects of your life. Dr. Cohn has been doing that for patients for decades, and he can do the same for you. For more information, reach out to his clinic today.

(Below is Part 4 of a four-part series on chronic pain in high school and college. It was penned by a college student who has dealt with chronic pain throughout her academic career. The four-part series will cover four important aspects of college life – Academics, Dating, Employment and Social Life.

Here’s Part 4 on how to manage chronic pain and your social life during an important stage of your life. Click these links for Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3.

Chronic Pain and Your Social Life

Pain can dominate your life, or you can make it just something that is part of your life. It starts with how you interpret life. If you take charge, you can change the way you interpret your pain and take back the control of how you live your life. The key is to find what you enjoy in life and to never loose sight of it. Make that your motivation through the tough days and a perk to enjoy on the good days. Make social events/time with other people a regular part of your week. It is really easy to isolate yourself from society when you have health problems, but life is a lot more manageable if you don’t.

If you’re in college, consider joining a club you’re passionate about. Clubs are a great way to get involved with your university, gain leadership experience and meet new people. Clubs can be social, professional, community service driven, or a combination. Most universities are also open to students creating their own clubs, so if you have an idea and want to implement it, you can do that too. I’d suggest being involved in at least one student organization in college. If you have chronic pain or are in a tough major (or both), joining a club can help give you multiple things in your life to distract you from the unpleasant aspects.

Friends Are Key

Good friends are a lifesaver. Having buddies that live with and know you well can be extremely helpful as you cope with chronic pain. It’s important to have someone to be able to go to (physically or a phone call) and be able to connect with, vent, or just distract you from what is going on. If pain prevents you from doing “extreme sports” then plan fun activities that will be less strenuous: game nights (board or video), movie nights, watching a TV show with others, playing pool or going to an arcade, going to a bar or out to dinner, going to a movie or comedy show, doing open skating, going for a walk with a dog or just with your friends exploring the city. I’ve found being surrounded by good company is enough to take my mind off the pain for a few hours and allow my life to have some normalcy. Just because you have chronic pain doesn’t and shouldn’t mean that you shouldn’t have a social life if you want one. Yes, you might have to make some adjustments, but here again, if you put your mind to it, you can make it what you want to.

All in all, these are the things I’ve learned and I hope you consider. Firstly, humans are generally kind, considerate, helpful, and understanding. It’s in our nature to help each other out, so don’t be afraid to lend a hand or ask for a hand when you need one in return. We (especially people with pain) catastrophize present and future situations, often assuming much worse outcomes will happen than are realistic. Don’t let this prevent you from trying new or different things in life. Humor and distraction can make an awful day a good one. Surround yourself with people that know you well and make you happy, don’t waste your time and energy with people that bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself. Be there for others the way you want them to be there for you. And LIVE the life you want to, don’t try to restrict your life to “fit” what you think you have to because of your pain; instead, do the things in life you want to do, and make the adjustments you need to in order to make sure you can indeed do what you want. Don’t let pain and others define your life—define your life how YOU wish to.